Diary of an estate agent: Kensington

Monday
The elderly owner greets me with a smile as I arrive to carry out a valuation on his unusually small flat in Iverna Court, close to Kensington High Street. He looks as if he is just back from the country, in his tweed coat with leather elbow patches and cuffs.

The flat is rather tired — the gentleman says he has lived alone for some years and hasn’t been inclined to spend much on it. However, every inch of space is filled with fine furniture and art collected earlier in his life.

I imagine how the place would look uncluttered, suggest an asking price and he is delighted. He says he’ll be in touch within a week.

Tuesday
Tying up an ongoing sale takes all morning in the office. We always knew this deal would be problematic because of an issue with a flying freehold, but thanks to tenacious lawyers it’s all resolved to everyone’s satisfaction.

This afternoon I’m off to a mews property which is approached by rough cobbles that play havoc with my suspension. The door is opened by a rather wizened-looking man dressed Sixties style in a kaftan and sandals, and wearing several strands of brass necklaces.

I’m shown into a hallway, which resembles a Mahjong set, with the walls covered in framed silver and gold discs. The three-bedroom house is in good order and will sell very well, although it might be tricky asking the owner not to burn incense while his home is on the market.

He and his girlfriend, who helped decorate the sitting room, aim to sell up and move near Lymington in Hampshire, to spend time fishing — and our Chichester office has just the property.

Intrigued as to who the potential vendor is, I look him up on Google and discover he was the rhythm guitarist with a famous band.

Wednesday
In torrential rain after the hot spell, I’m glad to reach the office. Two solicitors from different practices ring — one to give instructions on a sale for executor’s purposes, while the other needs an urgent opinion on a sale value for a long-standing client this afternoon.

By 2pm the sky’s clear and I set off to the given address.

The sign by the doorbell informs me that I am visiting a mystic. I am invited in to find the place is perfectly normal in every respect apart from a crystal ball and a crystal skull on her dining room table.

The vendor is very charming and when she asks my view on price, I’m very tempted to say she must know it already — but instead I say I will write to her lawyer.

I finish off the day with more paperwork and completion on a £2.65 million flat within 300 yards of the office. A worthwhile day.

Thursday
We’ve been invited to pitch for a lovely flat in Gloucester Walk. It’s owned by a retired naval officer of some great age, who I gather saw active service that left him exceedingly deaf, so I approach his front door with some trepidation.

Most of Kensington must hear me bellowing my name and the purpose of my visit via the intercom. The remainder of the call goes well and he seems pleased with the suggested marketing price.

Then he asks me where I grew up. Getting a little hoarse by now, I shout: “Near Cirencester,” to which he responds: “What d’you say? You’re a fire inspector?”

Friday
Today really proves just how varied an estate agent’s life can be. A solicitor who contacted me earlier about an executor’s sale decides the time has come for us to report on our findings.

The property has been in the family, we understand, since the Fifties. Sadly, however, because of an unresolved dispute, it has been unoccupied for decades. Even arranging a letting has been beyond agreement until now.

It’s a sizeable basement apartment, not far from Marloes Road and when we went to view it, we tell the solicitor, the key was stiff to turn in the lock. The windows were grimy and there was a tsunami of junk mail in the hallway.

The cobwebs were horrific, like an envelope of sticky net curtains, supplemented by mouse and rat traps. Needless to say I got out as quickly as possible with a handkerchief over my face.

When we received instructions to act the flat got a thorough cleaning before best and final offers were received, some 10 per cent in excess of the guide price. We understand there has now been some gentle lessening of friction in this particular family.