Diary of an estate agent

Our agent gets locked in with a minor soap star, faces a complaint about a wandering naked tenant, while a short colleague scares a big dog
Diary of an estate agent


I woke up today like a giddy teenager. On Friday I had received a call from a well-known soap star's agent. The C-list celebrity was looking to rent in Fulham and had her eye on a property that we have available.

We arrived at the development and after a quick viewing of the flat, things were looking quite positive — she seemed to really like it. She asked to see the underground parking to make sure her flashy new car would be secure, so off we went. Little did I know we required a key to get back out.

Miss C-list was not impressed at being locked in. My new outfit was ruined by scrambling up a very steep grass hill on my hands and knees and I had to knock on residents' doors to find another way out. Back to the office after a quick stop off at the department store and I had a feeling that it could be the start of a tricky week.


I caught up with my team this morning and, luckily, the rest of them had a much more successful Monday than me, so I rid myself of yesterday's shame and started to make my round of calls to the landlords.

All was going well until I got a phone call from a very softly spoken lady who lives on the top floor of a converted house. We recently rented out the ground-floor garden flat to a nice young couple. However, this lady was calling to inform me that the young gentleman enjoys an early-morning stroll and a cigarette around the garden each morning, which obviously would not be a problem, except that he has no clothes on. Oh dear, what a conversation that promised to be.


We have just been instructed on a beautiful top-floor flat in a gorgeous mansion block in the heart of Fulham. The landlord, who currently lives there, let me in, and from looking around, I thought the property was probably the best on our books. The landlord also has a Great Dane, which is absolutely huge, but after my initial fear it actually seemed to be very sweet. Not one to miss out, Kate, one of my top negotiators organised a viewing for that day.

I headed back to the office to continue making my calls. A few hours later, Kate returned without the expected smile on her face. Apparently, the very sweet giant dog cowered in the corner the entire time she was in the flat and ended up relieving itself on the very beautiful, thick, new cream carpet. Unsurprisingly, the prospective tenants were not interested.


Fulham is a bit of a hot spot for corporate and international lets. One of our corporate tenants brought a request into the office this morning for us to put to the landlord. He loves the flat and its location but said he would only agree to extend the contract if the landlord installed another bathroom.

Out came the floorplans that the tenant had sketched, with a portion of the room highlighted where he thought that the new bathroom could be fitted. I don't know if I managed to conceal my amusement. I gently tried to explain that this was a bit of an unreasonable demand and that I would put the idea to the landlord, but that he should expect the answer to be no.


With the end of the week upon us, I still hadn't heard back from Miss C-list celeb. I concluded that I should assume she was avoiding — and no longer missing — my calls.

After Kate took two more sets of people on viewings today around the beautiful top-floorflat, both of which resulted in the same reaction from the Great Dane, she was officially banned from the home, as the landlord thought that 5ft 1in blonde Kate was terrifying his huge hound. That hilarious thought kept us entertained as we headed to our local watering hole to draw a line under the week.

Jane Jenrick is lettings manager at Kinleigh Folkard & Hayward's Fulham branch (020 7736 6737).

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