Diary of an estate agent

Being beaten up by a champagne cork and questioned by the police is all in a day’s work for our Chelsea agent
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Although it's a Monday, everyone here is in high spirits as our office has exceeded its monthly targets by a long way - a good excuse for a celebration drink at the end of the day.The afternoon then seems to go excruciatingly slowly towards the champagne.

At last the day draws to a close and the champagne cork rockets through the air and lands - in my eye. Of course my colleagues think this is hysterical. Luckily, not too much damage but I reckon I will come in with a bruise tomorrow.


After a day of celebration, the bad news. A new apartment block we're marketing alongside our Fulham office was vandalised last night. The concierge doors were forced open and all the furniture was stolen from two show flats.

I go down to have a look at the damage and it looks bad. Not only does this mean that the properties aren't fit for viewing, but it doesn't paint a good picture of the area. The afternoon is spent rescheduling appointments, clearing up the mess, ordering furniture and filing a police report. Before I leave I'm asked where I was during the burglary, the officer nodding towards my black eye. Reluctantly, I have to admit I wasn't beaten up by an intruder, but by a champagne cork.


Today we are taking on a sole instruction of a fantastic four-bedroom Georgian town house on Paultons Square with direct views over one of Chelsea's finest private garden squares and the King's Road.The property is bulging with hi-tech gadgets and gizmos, and a celebrity chef-style basement kitchen, all for £3,000 per week. We are all in awe. I for one can't stop thinking about what it would be like to live there with my own chef… estate agents can dream too.


Here she comes again... a slightly intense client pays us a visit this morning on one of her monthly drop-ins, insisting on knowing about the floor plan sizes of each property we have, yet not knowing which location she ideally wants to rent or even buy in, and not even sure about how much she wants to spend.

After taking up a silly amount of our time dithering about streets and kitchen sizes, she eventually offers £90 a week less than the asking price for a tiny studio flat, accompanied by 20 further questions. No deal.


The lettings team is going to preview the Sloane Square private members club today, which features four self-contained apartments with all the accompanying hotel facilities for either a long or short let.There is also an amazing presidential suite over three floors with direct access to gym and sauna, priced at a £18,000 per week. Usually occupied by a Hollywood A-lister, we are happy to get it on our books.

Before we go, I consider wearing an eye-patch - wondering whether it is better to look like a pirate or a bruiser.I put it to the team who recommend the au naturel look is probably for the best. I am looking forward to a weekend plastered in arnica cream for a better look on Monday morning.

Duncan Peacock is an associate at Chesterton Humberts Chelsea lettings department (020 7594 4750)

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