Why #FemboyFriday is more than just a trend

'People need to be cognizant of the fact that our identities aren’t a ‘trend’ and that this is who we are'

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Seth Williams / Kevin Ninh / Judd Anderson
Megan C. Hills14 September 2020

Self-identified ‘femboy’ Kevin Ninh’s first feminine clothing purchase was a complete accident. After a top from the women’s section found its way into the men’s department and ultimately into his shopping basket, he was asked if he still wanted it. He said yes.

“I remember my mom purchased it for me,” the 24 year old content creator tells Evening Standard Insider. “That’s when I knew that my style wasn’t restricted to just labels.”

Now Ninh, who goes by Flawless Kevin online, has a wardrobe that includes pleated miniskirts, floral ruched dresses and (his prized possession) a Kendall Jenner-esque Nylon Prada bag - all of which he shares proudly on platforms like TikTok, YouTube and Instagram.

He’s just one of many young men who are part of the digital feminine boy community, expressing themselves on social media platforms through fashion and make-up. It’s the next online chapter in gender fluid fashion, which has long been championed by the LGBTQ+ community.

Femme men have held space online for years now (Reddit’s /r/feminineboys forum has nearly 70k members since starting in 2012). However, they’ve become more visible than ever on TikTok. #FemboyFriday has become a popular weekly theme with over 158.3m views on the platform as users including Ninh and 17 year old Seth Tamunopriye Williams (@thesethwilliams on Instagram) have blown up, showing off rainbow skirts, embellished bustiers and complex make-ups looks straight out of Euphoria - expanding beyond their community and into the wider digital world.

Seth Williams
Seth Williams

One of the biggest unifiers among femme boys is that they proudly incorporate feminine clothing into their wardrobes with strong ties to the LGBT community. Beyond that, they’re a diverse group, made up of people with different gender identities, sexualities and more.

For example, Ninh says a common misunderstanding viewers have of him is that he’s “in the process of transitioning or am transgender”, while Williams asserts that “feminine men are not any ‘weaker’ than masculine men” - stressing that "the fabric on your body doesn’t make you any less of a man if that’s what you identify as.”

While the word ‘femboy’ has been used in the past to insult feminine men, and according to Ninh has a "connotation of fetishisation", Williams is among those who have embraced it - explaining “people are trying to repurpose the word to give it a positive meaning.”

The fashion enthusiast continues, “I originally started using the word since that’s what I was frequently called. Words have power and I believe the label was what allowed for the creation of our community, because it gave us a word we could use to identify as.”

Though Ninh and Williams have impressive following counts, both have also previously spoken at length about the prejudice they’ve faced as femme boys. For Ninh, he’s previously talked about his negative experience in the dating scene, discussing in a YouTube video how he's encountered Grindr bios explicitly stating "no femmes" - or going completely the other way, objectifying him which he called "low key a dehumanising experience."

Williams’ TikTok username @thatsusboi is borne out one of defiance. In the comments of femme men on social media, you’ll sometimes see them referred to as ‘sus’ and Williams explains it “has homophobic connotations dependent on the context” and is “generally used to shame men for same sex attraction.”

“It’s a term I’m often called so I put it in my username to try to reclaim it by taking the shame away,” he says.

@thatsusboi

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