Join the Great British Protest! Just keep off the grass, please

There’s a fine line between dissent and outright revolt. At the moment that line is a long frayed blue cord that runs the perimeter of the grass in Parliament Square. Signs beside it inform the public that new turf has been laid, so please keep off the grass for now.

The pro- and anti-Brexit zealots have so far stuck to the pavements opposite Westminster for what has become a semi-permanent protest, a circus of complaints. They are joined, variously, by parked-up taxis wanting to use all bus lanes, their deadly rival Uber drivers complaining about congestion charges applied to them and not taxis, and climate change school-kid strikes about any cars at all. Rights for animals. Anti-child abuse. Everything.

Even the protesters protest that no one can gain a dominant position.

A friend involved in Extinction Rebellion tells me that, for last weekend’s demo, they had to plead with the police to arrest them for spilling fake blood on the roads. Otherwise how was this civil disobedience? The police said they might be too busy keeping an eye on all the other demos. At that moment, from around the corner, the Iranian Women’s Rights march bowled into view.

You can’t fault the UK for exercising its right to protest, but why this circus now? Is it that this Government, so tin-eared about everything, needs to be shouted at to get any message through? The ballot box has been overtaken by the megaphone.

Anyway, as things stand, we’ve just about kept to the rules. No one I’ve seen has stepped on the grass. But just as its roots take hold, around the corner in eight days time, half a million or more are expected for the People’s Vote march, and a thin blue cord isn’t going to stop them.

The gardener might wonder if he, like Theresa May and her Article 50 notification, laid the turf too soon.

In the midst of all the pulse-raising world affairs, I was charmed by news in The Times and international press about Wingspan, a birdwatching board game that has proved such a success that its US makers are being besieged with orders. Just wait until it gets here.

It is one of our nation’s secret passions — and such a benign one. Some 420,000 people take part in the RSPB’s annual birdwatch to observe and count species across the country. A rainy afternoon in playing a board game with a nature theme. Why so popular? Because it is almost like the 21st century hasn’t happened.

Beto O’Rourke: total clickbait. He went viral online and in the grassroots of conservative Texas during the 2018 midterms. Sure, he didn’t quite take the Senate seat off Ted Cruz, but nevertheless he takes such a good photo. And he’s just thrown his hat into the ring to be Democrat presidential candidate for 2020.

Some Democrats want a heavyweight who can fix Trump’s damage, not just a guy with a winning smile. Esquire has damned him with an article headlined: “Beto would make an excellent mixtape but he shouldn’t run for President (yet).” Beto used to play punk guitar. Then again, he has the power to move people in unexpected ways.

The video he has just released with his wife beside him, beaming at his every word, makes him look like he’s realised family values go just as far with the US electorate as playing the cool kid. Then again, he has the power to move people in unexpected ways. I suggest you google “Beto” and “calves cramp” to remind yourself.

Elton John played communist Czechoslovakia in 1984; Iron Maiden did Poland the same year. And in 1987 David Bowie and the Eurythmics played a concert in West Berlin, by the Wall, with speakers turned to East Berlin. Communism crumbled to a rock ’n’ roll chord.

Now Joss Stone has played a gig in North Korea, in a bar in capital Pyongyang. She sang a traditional Korean song as part of a world tour in which she’s planning to perform in every single country.

Wouldn’t it be ironic if, where Trump’s strong-arm tactics have failed, a sweet little soul singer from Devon succeeds?